Not the kind of medicine you’re used to
[This post was originally published April 23, 2014 on my old Living In Tantra website]
You’ve had a long day, and frankly, it’s been awhile since there was any action in the bedroom. Your Beloved is laying there, not the prettiest you’ve ever seen her, but, hell, good enough. You rub her arm a bit, just to let her know the next kiss that’s coming isn’t the usual good night kiss. You bend down to plant one on her and she says, “Oh, baby, not tonight. . . . I have a headache.” Sound familiar?
Now, put this one Tantric principle into place and that headache won’t manifest in the first place: the Tantric Hall Pass.
Baggage build-up in relationships creates the Not Tonight Headache. The niggly, irritating things lovers do–like leaving dirty laundry on the bathroom floor–or lovely things left undone–like the energy-rich good night kisses left behind in the dating phase. Unchecked, these heavy bags weigh the spirit down and block the love flow between lovers.
One of my favorite principles of sacred sexuality, or sex Tantra, is the Tantric Hall Pass. This simple exercise creates a clean, sacred space between the two of you, inviting loving energy to flow freely. It’s so easy. All you do is take a few moments to put your foreheads together, look each other deeply in the eyes, and exchange these words:
Here in the moment, as your Lover, I choose to lay aside my anger and irritations. I choose for this night to enter the Mystery and see you as Divine, as Perfect.
Breathing in and out together adds a meditative quality, and if you need something to do with your hands, holds hands while you gaze. This shared intention creates a glorious moment of grace . . . healing, erotic, and uplifting. Now follow the sacred energy flow. Maybe you’ll have sex. Maybe you’ll cuddle. For certain, your spirits will intertwine.