[This post was originally posted Apil 1, 2014 on my old Living in Tantra site.]
How everyday Tantra helped me make a different choice for my son
My youngest is sick with the barfs and runs, so we’re laying low. Last night we made a blanket nest on the living room floor, next to a bucket and stack of towels, the two of us curled up with the dogs. When I was child and sick like this, my mother–who couldn’t afford to take time off work–would quarantine me in my room with a puke pot and tell me to drink a lot of water. That would be the last I saw of her until she felt I wasn’t contagious anymore.
I’ve never questioned that approach until feelings of being so alone and abandoned have overtaken me recently.
I know many of you are experiencing the same, because you tell me so.
Thinking about the Tantra of feeling along and abandoned, of turning their poison into nectar, I am treating my little boy differently. I stoke his back while he’s vomiting, tell him what good job he’s doing of barfing in the bucket and not on the carpet. I help him wipe his mouth and give him a sip of water before tucking him back into the nest. I do it so he KNOWS he’s not alone.
And, I’m writing YOU to let you know, too, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Here are five things you can do right now to feel your connection.
1. Text a friend. Better yet, text at least three friends an open a quick conversation. You don’t have to say anything profound. “I’m thinking about you. What’s your news?” “I’m so thankful for you!” and “Want to meet for a drink?” are surefire lonely busters.
2. Play Smile Pong. How many smiles can you collect by smiling first? This works awesomely at the grocery store.
3. Offer a helping hand. “Hey, do you need help with that?” lets people know you see them and you care. Animal shelters are always looking for volunteers to socialize furry dogs and cats. Meals on Wheels needs delivery drivers, and their patrons are probably lonelier than you!
4. Show up with donuts. Or bagels or cookies or a fruit tray. Suddenly, you’re a people magnet.
5. Know I am “hear” for you. Write to me, and I will write you back. Because, dearies, I really mean it when I say you are perfect just the way you are, that you are dearly loved of the Universe, that we are all interconnected in a web of Cosmic Consciousness.
Even if you are puking.