When You Can’t Believe in Your Dreams

Here’s what to do when you just can’t work up enough faith in yourself.

Erotic meditation is a powerful tool in my daily spiritual hygiene practice. It takes me to a place of ecstasy, shows me what sort of ecstasy I’m capable of, and challenges me to take that ecstasy into my everyday life. And lately, in my every day, I am working on manifestation. As in, how to manifest my dreams. I’m having some challenges believing.

That manifestation hinges on belief is hugely popular teaching in metaphysical circles, and has been for decades. Napoleon Hill, Seth, Abraham-Hicks, Joe Dispensa–all boil down to what you believe is what you can manifest. Centuries before, Jesus even preached this same message, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you’” (Matthew 17:20).

I can wishful think like a mofo, but Universe sees through me, and it ain’t convinced. I know better. Believing is a knowing in the gut, an experience I can feel almost physically.

I understand the power of visceral believing, because I’ve seen it work. About 80% of my Tantra Basics for Beginners students manifest an amazing partner in their lives by feeling their future Beloved’s vibration during each session. We call it in. I have my student tell me about the ideal mate, and then I ask for my student to pretend I am that person. We feel the Beloved’s vibration come to us, and we bask in the Presence while practicing the exercises. Sometimes, we can even discern some of Beloved’s physical characteristics, and that helps my student recognize that person more quickly. It’s remarkable.

My problem is, while I can help my students find that vibration I can’t quite get to that vibrational space for myself. Are you like me? I’m still learning to believe my amazing lover is out there for me, that my fortune is out there for me, that my career is bustling and helping hundreds more people change their lives with Tantra, that my family has everything we need. I feel turned inside out when it comes to belief: I can do it like gangbusters for others, but for myself, there’s too much noise. Too many contradicting thoughts that whack my belief down to, “Are you serious? That isn’t going to happen.” And then, of course, it doesn’t.

I’m working my way out, and who knows? You may be reading my incredible story manifesting all my dreams come true. In the meantime, many people find themselves in the same situation as me. It’s easy to believe and wish and imagine and perceive good things for other people, but it can be a lot harder to turn that magic to yourself.

This is why I developed an advanced erotic practice called compassion meditation. It allows me to believe in my partner’s dreams come true, and at the same time, that other person believes in my dreams come true for me. 

It works like this: two people take turns telling the other what they would like to see manifest. When each has a clear understanding of the other’s dream, they go into erotic meditation on behalf of the other.

Each will call their Divine Lover to themselves, sit in yab yum, raise sacred erotic energy, and envision the dream swirling in the inevitably creative space between Shiva and Shakti. They spend at least fifteen minutes seeing and feeling the dream manifested, what smells and tastes like, what its implications are, what it means in practical life. After the meditation, they exchange their visions and experiences, full of belief on each other’s behalf that the dream can indeed come true.

The visions that can take place are powerful. For example, a meditation partner asked me to envision simply that he felt loved. Sitting in yab yum with my Divine Lover, I felt as if Shiva and I were big enough to place the whole world in our hearts. I put my partner in that space, and Shiva suggested we love him like a mother and father would love their child. I felt my breasts tingling and overflowing with loving light, felt my womb welling up with comfort and love, felt Shiva protecting and honoring the process, and saw my partner basking in the love. After meditation, when I told my partner about the vision, he was deeply moved, having a specific image of what love coming at him might look like.

Twice I have asked partners to see me as financially wealthy. I even have a specific sum of money I want, $10,000 a month. Each time, my partners have not only seen me as having the money, they have seen me budgeting it, managing it, traveling, and donating generously. That they both had similar visions helps me believe there is a reality where I‘m living my dream. It chips away at my disbelief, so I will keep asking partners to help me believe it.

Compassion meditation does not seem to be strong enough to actually manifest changes for our partners–it seems personal belief is the only thing that can do that–but it is medicine for contrasting beliefs us drag them down and hold us hostage to the status quo. Believing on behalf of others exercises our belief muscles. 

A Course of Miracles says changing a belief is the biggest miracle of all. For this next 4-week meditation series, we’ll be practicing the advanced erotic art of compassion meditation, and it comes just as most of the world is believing in a season of miracles. Come and join us.